melted icy dreams.

2007-06-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

GOODBYE BLOGGER!
i've moved.
i won't be updating here, so relink people!

www.cherichampagne.livejournal.com

2007-06-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
(:
There's not gonna be a big celebration cos Dad's working the midnight shift and Tasha's got school.
So despite the birthday, I'll be stuck at home doing god-knows-what and trying to entertain myself.
Currently, I'm watching a walk to remember videos on youtube.
I loooove the movie!
I might pop it into the dvd player and watch later.
:D

DHOOM!

2007-06-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

(the song is for the dance we're learning now. (: )

hello!
okay, today i actually have something to blog about!
soooo,
i got up at about 9. then i realised that it was kindaaa early, so i went back to bed.
Then Mum woke me up 9 20 pluuss.
So i bathed and got ready and that kinda crap.
Realised that it was already 10 20 when im supposed to meet Lizziepoopants at around 10 30.
HAHA.
But then, she was late to so we ended up meeting at 11 plus.
First, it was Times to go get our magazineeessss.
I bought CosmoGirl, like FINALLY they have the issue.
Liz got her Glamour then we went down to Macs to do our homework.
Such good angelic girls right?
Do homework all!
Okay fine, not really.
We gave up after 5 emaths questions then started doing some quiz thingy on my magazine.
HAHAHA.
It was distracting!
After awhile we left macs then we bumped into Samantha and Tricia!
Had lunch with them at pasta mania.
I got a Ceaser Salad, since i was freakkiiinng broke.
There was this disgusting nut thingyyy that we tried, it tasted like god-knows-what.
Ewww.
Melissa Tay joined us after her geog excursion.
I loove her top! [:
So then qadri wanted to meet us at N2.
Us being lazzzyyy girls, we took a cab.
It was a useless meeting.
But its kindddaaa hilarious.
We decided to go to White Sands and told qad and his friends to come.
Met them at the library when I was lazily sprawled on the floor with my shoes off cos it gave me blisters!
I need to break them in.
Walked around for abit, then took 17 with mel, qad, kevin and dominic.
AND HERE I AM!!!

i have tuition in an hour, but im exhausted.
I DONT WAAANAAA GOOOOO!
but i dont have a choice.

okay, im gonna learn to play hey there delilah on the guitar. [:

2007-06-06T04:06:00.000-07:00

i'm starting to haaate my blog.
i wanna get an lj or xanga, but then all the re-linking has to be done and i'm too lazy to do that.
omggg laaa.

ANYHOOS!
i'm supposed to be happy right?
then why do i feel so damn confused???

once again, this is a totally useless post.
XANGAXANGAXANGA!! I NEED TO GET A DAMN XANGA.

grrr

2007-06-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

oh lordy, my skin is a screw up. GRRR! i'll have to work on it.
anyways, it's been a long time since i've posted a decent post, so here goes.
i have loads of things to say today.
where should i start?
so i got up at 11 40 on the dot (at least that's the time it said on my handphone), which left me with around an hour and fifteen minutes to bathe eat and head for cca.
for a girl, that's definitely not enough.
but i made it. :D
dance was in studio, so i walked there all by my lonely self, then i got scared cos i was imagining footsteps behind me so i ran 4 storeys to the studio.
out of breath by the time i reached.
mel tay gave out free mags so i took a Glamour.
Dance today was super fuuuuun.
the dhoom dance is sooo sexy! HAHA.
Mrs. V threatened to kick me cos i forgot my steps.
It's all in the name of fun baybeh.

I realise i'm like labelled. Ms. Nicety. Cos im 'nice'. I'm starting to think that's a bad thing.
I mean, people abuse the fact that i'm 'nice', or whatever you call it.
I have to be more 'GARANG!'.
HAHAHA.

well, im gonna eat now.
byebye.

great escape.

2007-06-04T01:31:00.000-07:00

i changed my skin.
geez, you don't know how HARD it was to do it all over again.
i'm in a foul mood now.
super irritated.

heh,
anyway,
i made my ic today.
I'M A BIG GIRL.

2007-05-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day!
SHREK 3 with Lizzie and Mel.
Funny show, i swear.
Mel and i shared a medium sized popcorn, then she passed it back to me with the message 'Sorry' cos she finished it.
HAHAHA.
Today was all about sharing.
We shared clam chowder soup and fried mussels aaaand also a packet of famous amous cookies!
I didn't spend much today, thank god.

We should do this more often!

(:

2007-05-30T03:23:00.001-07:00

is it me, or does days seem to pass super duper fast?
it feels like i just got up and it's like already 6.

man, this means i'm going to be back in school very soon.

oh god, this is bad.

You know the one thing i really needed to do when I was crying my heart out weeks ago due to a little incident?
Run to my mother and spill everything out and cry into her shoulder, just like i did when i was a child and sharlene bullied me.
but the disappointment in her eyes, it's more than i can take.
'Melissa, you're a smart girl with lots of potential. But when it comes to boys, you go haywire. Don't let that ruin you.'
Her words.

She's right.

I wish i were a child again.

dream journal.

2007-05-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

I have a sudden inspiration to post something reallllyyy looong.
Haha, i don't know, I guess i'm just weird in that way.
ANYHOOS!
I had a great day. In fact, I've been having greaaat days!
Things are pretty much looking up for me, I must say.
I guess sometimes the hardest things feel so painful, but then you actually see that it's for the better.
Sometimes we try so hard to hold on, that we forget to let go.
I got that from the book i just finished reading, 'Honey, Baby, Sweetheart.'
It's amazing really.
For all those people who've been in love and lived to tell the tale, I recommend it.
OKAY, back to my day. (I tend to get sidetracked a lot.)
Hmm, i told mum to wake me up at 6:30 but she woked me up at 7:00. (I think i should consider getting an alarm clock. I can't depend so much on my mother.)
I thought I was going to be late for lit but when i got there many people were even later.
Class was okay i guess. Did i mention i absolutely love To Kill A Mockingbird?
It's simply amazing, really.
For once, I actually contributed ideas in class and participated in discussions.
I'm changing a lot.
Times are changing, sometimes its hard to keep up.
After class went to Tampines Mall with Lizzie.
We wanted to buy imported magazines but there wasn't any at Times.
Ah well.
I only spent money on lunch, she bought clothes!
Then she blame it on me for not doing my job and discouraging her from spending.
-.-
But that's okay, pushing the blame makes you feel less guilty.
I'm guilty of that too.
Heh.
We had cca. For once we were early, no one was there.
So i had a sudden inspiration to go get bubble tea. Liz and mel tay came with me and when we got back mrs. vijay was already there.
Whoops.
Found out we're one of the top schools chosen to perform for some V.I.P thingy on the 20th of July.
I'm so used to performing I'm not even nervous.
I guess taking dance as a cca was a good choice, i don't have stage fright anymore. :D
Dance was a big ball of fun, as usual.
It's so de-stressing and the people are awweeesoommmeee.
I had to catch up learning another dance because i haven't been attending due to my drama commitments. But I guess i did prettyyy okay.
I'm still kinda blur here and there but I'll learn it in no time!

I can't wait for our party on the 13th. It's gonna be fun!
I don't know if i should tan. Lizzie and mel are going to.
But i think i'm dark enough already.
But maybe my skin still needs a little sun...
OH MY, i sound like some features-obsessed woman. HEH.

I've been reading since 5! I'm sucha bookworm. I really miss reading. Been a long time, my best friends.
I'm determined to finish reading the books i loaned before the due date.
I've had enough fuss with fines.
HAHA.

I have this song stuck in my head!

When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
That I'll always be your friend
Took an oath Imma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

I know now that i never loved you, i just loved the fact that you loved me.

i think i'm ready to fall in looooove! BRING IT ON BABEH!

2007-05-27T23:11:00.001-07:00

My friends tried to tell me all along
That you werent the right one for me
My friends tried to tell me to be strong
I bet you didnt think that I would see

The postcard that you wrote
With the stupid little note
Something wasn't quite right about it
I wanna see you cry
Like I did a thousand times
Now you're losing me, you're losing me now
Because you wrote

I wish you were her
You left out the 'E'
You left without me
And now you're somewhere out there
With a bitch, slut, psycho babe
I hate you, why are guys so lame
Everything I gave you I want everything back but you

take it to the floor.

2007-05-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

hellooo!
yesyes, i'm back.
haven't been updating for what, 3days?
Been busy, basically.
HAWHAW.
Anyways, let's start off with FRIDAY.

Had the parent-teacher conference thingyyy and my class position, disappointing.
I've never felt so much disappointment in my life.
Mum told the teacher i didn't put in much effort, but i TRIED!
So after that went to TPJC for tasha's runway thing.
Students these days are really talented.
They're designs are actually better than those you see in Project Runway.
Tash and her designer got 2nd place for the white t-shirt design.
But frankly, i think they deserved first.
So after the whole knick-knack went off to Simpang Bedok for dinner.
I had steak!
Yummyyy.

SATURDAY
Visited poor azfar in hospital.
He was crying, so poor thing.
Hope he gets better soon.
He's only a baby, probably don't know why he's in so much pain.
Then aunt took me and sharlene out for dinner.
Ate at Segar Restaurant.
Sharlene was being umm, SHARLENE as usual.
She had tummy ache and she kept saying she needed to fart.
Sick girl! Hahaha.

SUNDAY
Visited Grandma the whole daaayy.
It was getting boring actually, sitting and watching tv with nothing to do.
But food was good.
At night we went to see Ole Tampines! because tasha's modern dance was performing.
Their dance is nice, yet funny.
The weather was effing hot!
I hate singapore weather.
I feel like going to antarctica for the holidays.

But then again i'll prolly freeze.

SO that's all!

(:

leave out all the rest.

2007-05-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

hello amigos.
i don't feel like blogging, but i guess i shall.
the highlight of today was the fact that it was the last day of school.
we only had four periods, an hour of literature (when ms kang showed my essay to the class) and another hour of social studies. gawwd, i hate ss.
but anyways, we had classroom cleaning after that, but hardly any cleaning took place because none of my classmates brought rags.
i didn't bring cos i thought i could borrow from someone, but i guess they all were thinking the same way.
lizzie didn't come to school today, she busted me! heh.
okay then after that we had the prayer service/investiture thingy which was sooo effing booooring.
it ended waay after the bell rang, so i reached home only at around 2:30.
mum and i went to the library to stock up on books so i'll be well-entertained during the holidays.
i'm currently reading 'honey, baby, sweetheart'.
about break-ups and the true meaning of love, and falling for the wrong person.
something i can totally relate to at this moment.
maybe, just maybe, i'll learn a thing or two from the book.

linkin park is so primary school, but hell, i don't care.
their songs are quite good, you know.

i've been pretty good lately. aside from the fact that i fell off em's bed and got a huge gash across my thigh. thanks, em. thanks a lot for laughing like some bloody drunk kid. (or maybe you were?)

anyway, it's the start of my june holidays babeh.
i've been looking forward to this day.
there's gonna be soo much outings with my girls, the indian dance party, teri's campus superstar, malaysia for mum's birthday..
yesyes, i'm prettyyy occupied.
who knows?
maybe will june will be the month i'll fall in love, with someone sooo much better than the last.

weeeell, a girl can dream can't she?

okay, i'm gonna read a book and leave my msn on for awhile.
kthxbye.

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that ive done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

ghost of what we used to be.

2007-05-23T02:52:00.000-07:00

daaaay 3 of the course!
today was the FUNNEST day.
we learned a chinese opera dance and also malay dance.
it was hilarious, trying to pick up the steps but at the same time really fun.
i'm gonna miss st. nicholas' school canteen.
we played a lameass game on the way back in the bus.
the first person who talks had to do a forfeit, that is dancing one of the dances we learnt in a moving bus.
it was hilaaarioussss.
heh.
natasha and alex were the one always having to do the forfeit.

anywaaaay, tomorrow's the last day of school! YAY.
i'll just have to get through tomorrow, then it's the holidays.

something tells me my holidays are going to be jam-packed.(:

fast forward.

2007-05-22T03:30:00.000-07:00

I WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAAAAAYYY!
haha.
it was a fun experience, actually.
witnessing the prefects being bullied, heh, funny.
they made me take off my earrings cos they were too big.
-_-
ah weeell.
then it was off to st. nicks for day 2 of the course.
it was better than yesterday.
i learned a dance. hahaha.
and we got to mingle with the other school students.
they're friendlyyyyyy.
and funny too.
my group had to act ou scenes 11-14 of Ramayana.
I was the narrator, hah, best role luuhhh.
alex asked me, 'how do you spell idiot?'
and i was like who's the idiot. hahahaha.

ah weeell, i gtg nooowww. byeeee.
i can't wait for friday!
TPJC'S runway show, and my sister is modelling
WALKING IN HIGH HEELS.
now that is gonna be daaamn funny.
(:

course day 1

2007-05-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

today was the first day of the drama southeast asian theatre course.
it wasn't as bad as i though it would be, it was actually quite fun.
we learned dance movements for thailand, burma..cambodia..blah blah blah.
and i got sabo-ed then i was asked to demonstrate a indian dance step because i take indian dance. -_-
it was hell embarrassing.
st. nicholas' is a HUUUGE school, and their canteen is sooo much better than ours.
the food is cheap and better.
ij toa payoh was there too.

tomorrow we're gonna do chinese opera. heh.

here's an excerpt from the 'Likay' (thai theatre) script:

TALAMAE SUAY
Listen to the sweet words
as if they were written with drops of sweet water
What unfortunate luck that our hearts
so close
find themselves amidst confusion and disorder.
I feel as though I were beated by a whip
It hurts all over.
Oh, my heart that used to love now hurts.
We used to give gifts to each other.
But now weapons shall be our gifts.
Our hands have to hold swords instead
of red roses.

sugar, how'd you get so fly?

2007-05-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

gooood morning.
it's another brand new day.
i don't like sundays, they bring me closer to mondays.

ah well.
i like snipping my own hair.

death sounds prettyyy appealing to me, you know.
it's the only way out.

the sound was trapped deep in me.

2007-05-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

Good morning, world.
Today, i woke up with a huge sense of dread.
Days are getting longer and nights are getting shorter.

And i'm still wondering how i'm going to tell my tuition teacher my bad bad amaths results.
It's gonna be embarrassing.

i have a whole list of things to dooo.

1) get a haircut. long hair's becoming a chore.
2) find a way to tell susan my amath results, without exactly telling her.
3) tell ms kang i won't be able to make it for midsommer night's dream later, which is a lie. i just don't feel like going and mum doesn't think i'll make it to fort canning on my own anyway.
4) stock up on overseas magazines, which are sooo much better than local.
5) watch prison break reruns.
6) GET A LIFE!

Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there
bet it sucks to see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
you knew
exactly what you would do
Don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
Never again

Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never!

weeeell, have a good day while i wallow in mine.
♥

promise.

2007-05-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

nice song.

what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
would you take my hand and never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go

and the stars aren't out tonight,
but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories can't replace,
these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased
take this broken heart and make it right

i feel like i lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
i thought you should know,
you're not making this easy

i never thought i'd be the one to say
please don't, please don't leave me

2007-05-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

i got first in class for literature.
three cheers for me!
but it's only an A2.
ah weell.
my results aren't that good, guess i'll have to work really really hard from now on.

today was an okay day.
except for the occasional 'depressed' moments, which fade quite fast.

ahwellies.

i've got homework to do.

kthxbye.

and u hope you think of me, occasionally.

lies lies all lies.

2007-05-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

you never made me happy. says:
haha. yep. i'll be a-okay!

i lie.

2007-05-17T01:02:00.000-07:00

today wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. it was nice to receive very very comforting hugs from people. and those encouraging words.
thank you so much everyone.
anyhoos, we got our myes results back.
i didn't do as i good as i hoped i would, but i guess i'll just count my lucky stars that i didn't do very very bad.
i got an A1 for social studies though, that made my day.

here's a little something something.

i'm gonna miss you like a child misses that blanket,
but i gotta get a move on with my life,
it's time to be a big girl now,
and big girls don't cry.

i swore,
i swore i would be true,
and honey, so did you,
so why were you holding her hand?
is that the way we stand?
were you lying all along?
was it just a game to you?

2007-05-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

i trusted you, you broke that.
i loved you, you abused that.
i cared for you, you took it into your advantage.

you had your flings.
you cheated.

happy now?

goodbye, loser.
you don't deserve me.

i need happy pills.

signal fire.

2007-05-15T03:54:00.000-07:00

today was fuuun.
went out with lizziepoopants and melissa my girlfr.
it was an embarrassing day, like stepping on a hot guy's foot...
like zomg.

our embarrassing moments:

ME

1.
COUNTER GUY : So would you like white wine or tomato sauce?
ME : HAH WHAT?

2.
COUNTER GUY : Would you like to pack it separate or together?
Me : Oh, yes.

I'm so blur i swear.

MELISSA TAY

1.
MELISSA : Hi, can I have..
COUNTER GUY : No, cannot.
MELISSA : Oh fine lah.

ELIZABETH

1.
COUNTER GUY : That would be six dollars and twenty cents.
ELIZABETH : (SPILLS A GAZILLION COINS ON THE TRAY) That's six dollars.

HAHAHA. Zomg. We played in spotlight too. Maaad girls. And we made a lot of noise in swensens. We played a disgusting game. One person closes her eyes and the rest dips fries in weird sauce combinations and puts it into her mouth. I got chocolate, tartar, chilli and god-knows-what, thank you very much. We bought skinny jeans too! And mood rings with our names. They're pretty.

Ah well.
Here's the pictures.

i told melissa, this is going on my blog.
she went NOOOOO!

that's all folks.

and to you,
i don't hate you, i hate your lies.
and the fact that you don't care.
if i'm not special to you,
then maybe...
just maybe..

i don't know.
you'd know who you are.

lies and rumours.

2007-05-14T01:35:00.000-07:00

rumours can kill.
and trust is a fucking hard thing.

Wakin up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it’s say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts
when I think,
when I let it sink in
It’s all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
Watchin you sleep, it hurts a lot

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don’t wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down.

please don't let me down.

2007-05-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

a heart of gold.

2007-05-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

since exams are over, i thought i'd have more time to write.
but i can't write anymore.
i opened up microsoft word, with this really really big idea in my head,
and guess what?
nothing came out of my head.

i have lost all my creative juices.

this is death.

ooohweeeee.

2007-05-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

soooo, in the end i did go out after all!
after the last paper, it was off to town!
MYEs are finally oveerrr and boy did we celebrate!
went with Dominic, Elizabeth, Melissa Tay, Sarah, Michelle, Natasha and later Ryan and Diniy joined us.
we shopped till we dropped, literally, on the chairs of gelare.
i hardly bought anything, but i did get my metal pencil box from borders.
yay me.

ooo, mich and natty watty got me a slice of oreo cheesecake and they put a candle on it and made me blow. hahaha. thank you babies. ily. (:
today was oohwee day and me liz and mel were saying it all day.
and it's funny to make fun of dominic's very 'feminine' side. goossshhh.
and trying to <'pang seh' nat and ryan was funny tooo.
sorry i'm eviiiil.

pictures!

nyahahaha.

lizzie wants me to blog about her, so i shall.
world, please meet elizabeth neo my bestestestest friend in the whole world!
she is uber kewl.
she has been my best friend since sec 1!
i love her corny and lame jokes, and the fact that she laughs at her own jokes is even funnier.
e.g : Yo momma so gay, she makes me happy!
(insert HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
if you want to freak her out, give her a lizard.
if you want her to be your best friend, bring her shopping!
heeeh.
i love elizabeth anne neo plenty plenty!
mess with her and get it.
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRL!

there you go liz. i know you looove me!

touchy feely.

2007-05-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

hello everybody.
i'm a happy goober.
mummy got me a digital camera for my birthday.
it's cooool.

hah.
i'm bored.
blogger sucks.
i wanna switch to xanga or livejournal asap.

2007-05-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way

burn.

2007-05-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'M FIFTEEN!

2007-05-08T01:08:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME-EEE-EEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!

yes, i am finally fifteen.(:
even amath and history exam couldn't ruin my day.
thank you everyone for those midnight messages, even though i was asleep at that time and only read it in the morning.
thank you Diniy, Rady, Samantha, Dominic, Adam, Kak Nadia, Izzatul, Natasha, Elizabeth and everyone else for the messages.(:
thank you to all those who wished me in school, and thanks lizzie for the BIG BIG happy birthday melissa on the board. (:
thank you Sharlene for the big big barney!
thank you elizabeth for the present that you bought, which you forgot to bring but i love you anyway.
thanks melissa tay, liz, michelle, sharlene and dominic for celebrating with me after school.
thank you chloe for the two lollipops! you're such a sweet junior. i didn't expect that! hah.
thank you dominic for the cake and the cookie, and for spending my birthday with me.
ily.(:

you all make my birthday even special. (:

PICTURES!

camera shy birthday girl.

the bored dominic 1.

the bored dominic 2.

heeeh.
okay, i don't feel like studying, since it's my birthday.
but chemistry's tomorrow, so i better study.

kthxbye.

stolen.

2007-05-06T02:44:00.000-07:00

helloooo earthlings. I haven't blogged in 2 days. Hah. I've been pretty busy, what with studying for Mid Year Examinations and whatnot. And I've sacrificed my time on the computer to mug mug mug and mug. My time on the computer's limited to only half an hour, so no time to blog.

I'm tired.
I'm done mugging for physics but i have four sec 3 topics for Mathematics to go. Oh not to mention I have to recap on my sec 2 work which i have totally forgotten by now. Kill me, just kill me. Tomorrow's gonna be even worse. Amaths and history on tuesday, which means my monday is filled with tuition, history, amaths, history. AAAAHHH. I guess i'll stay up till midnight. The time when i turn 15! HAHA. I can't wait for my birthday.

Okay, i'm going back to the books.
(:

2007-05-03T21:49:00.000-07:00

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

THURSDAY
The Social Studies paper wasn't bad, it could be done.
Pretty easy i guess.
I think i'll pass.
Before the paper, the invigilator gave us the writing paper.
So everyone started writing our name, index, class, subject blah blah blah.
Everyone except me, that is.
I was busy thinking..
Then i went "How to spell Social ah?"
And everyone around me started laughing.
I got confused with the malay spelling after studying malay the day before.
Heeeeh.
So after the paper I went straight home.
Then went grocery shopping with mummy and sharlene!
There's a new cd shop near my house and i bought my avril lavigne album.
It was only 9.90!
Don't get me wrong, it's original.
Mum said it's cheap cos it's from Taiwan or something like that.
Now i have a new place to buy cheap and original cds. (:
Studied my literature and memorised quotations and that kinda crap.
Then dominic was bored so we talked on the phone for one hour plus.
We started talking when the sun was still up, then when we hung up i realised it was already dark.
Haaah.

FRIDAY
Woke up at 8 30 cos the paper was at 10 15, which meant i had to be in school at around 9 30.
I was earlier than lizzie today!
Her taxi driver brought her to jalan pari burong instead of bedok north.
Haah.
Literature was do-able.
The first time in my life i managed to complete the literature exam before ending time.
And that's like only five minutes before.
My finger aches from all that mad scribbling.
After the paper, liz and i were hungry so we went to the canteen to buy food.
Then she was going to take the bus all the way to pasir ris all by herself.
So me, being the amazing awesome great best friend that i am, i waited for the bus with her.
HAH.
But it was fun, talking about a certain someone.
HAHAHA.
I feel evil now, but oh well.
Going to granny's later!

kthxbye.

I couldn't give a damn what you say to me
I don't really care what you think of me
cause either way you're gonna think what you believe
there's nothing you could say that would hurt me

I'm better off without you anyway
I thought it would be hard but I'm ok
I don't need you if you're gonna be that way
cause with me it's all or nothing

I'm sick of this shit
Don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of this shit
Don't ask why

I hate you now
So go away from me
You're gone, so long
I can do better
I can do better
Hey, hey you
I found myself again
That's why, your gone
I can do better
I can do better

xXxXxXx!!!

2007-05-02T00:44:00.000-07:00

oh, this is what exams does to you.
the unglamness of it all...
ANYWAY, today was a rather eventful day.
i was nearly, NEARLY, late for school.
but as usual, i made it before the bell.
it's funny how i'm always nearly late, yet never late.
so first was english paper.
i don't have a clue what 'incontrovertible' means, thank you very much.
and Passage A was about the indian caste system that got me so damn confused and Passage B was about Ghandhi.
hell, i didn't know Ghandhi was a nature-curer or whatever you call it.
i just knew he was ghandhi.
okay okay, anyway my summary was super long as usual and i ended up re-writing the whole damn thing and crossing out some of my points.
i definitely won't get and A.
then it was recess.
lizzie lizzie you're so funny.
you should have seen the way she screamed (OH MY F****** GOD, it's a FREAKING LIZARD!) then jumped up on the canteen bench when she saw a 'lizard' on the floor.
turns out it was a fake rubber one.
and she didn't even know she screamed that.
hahaha, i love you la lizzie. even when it was embarrassing when you climbed up the bench. and made me shout 'WHERE! WHERE!' and get off the bench clutching my packet of potato wedges.
HAHAHA.
yes, then it was malay paper.
i really don't wanna talk about it.
geeez, i memorised my peribahasa like duno what and i didn't even understand the passage.
this could be the first time i fail malay.
oh lordy.

my birthday's in 6 days!
oh, and it's also the day coca cola was created.
heh, i didn't know that.
i feel special now!
haaaah.

i guess i should go study social studies now.
i just can't wait for exams to be over.
i have loads of plans...

FRIDAY: ICE CREAM WITH RADY. (i think...)
SATURDAY : NATASHA AND MICHELLE. (:
SUNDAY : PHANTOM OF THE OPERAAA!
and more..and more..and more...

kthxbye.

get your freak on.

2007-05-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

It's labour day!
yet, i still had tuition from 10 30 to 12 45.
it was pretty fulfilling actually.
got to practice on my remainder theorem and blah blah blah.
it's a great day.
i have the flu, so i turned on king kong and slowly fell asleep.
then when i woke up, it was already finishing.
it's jamie bell day.
i've watched 2 shows with jamie bell already. (:
he's hot.

i'm supposed to be mugging now, but i thought i'd give myself a break.
i've memorised every single peribahasa on my list for the malay test already.
i'm so proud of myself.

off to type my lit notes!
so far, i'm done with the impressions of Atticus, Miss Maudie, Miss Caroline and Dill.
To Kill a Mockingbird is a pretty nice book, actually.

okay, have a great labour day!

p.s: Spiderman 3's in cinemas. I want go watch!

2007-04-30T03:12:00.001-07:00

oh did i mention i don't understand mat language?
like that short form malay?
hahaha, okay, melissa get out of your own blog, please.

thnks fr th mmrs

2007-04-30T02:50:00.000-07:00

i'm tired.
i'm fed-up.
i'm cursing myself.
GRR!
done with malay and english paper 1, so two down, a lot more to go.
english could be done, malay nearly killed me.
i have so many ideas but i just can't seem to translate them into malay.
but nevermind,
melissa tay said it's good that i have a lot of ideas, so next time when i wanna do business i'll just hire a translator.
and i went 'i wouldn't want to do business in malay.'
that's like suicide.

anyway, i'm now in the middle of a quarrel that could blow up into a super huge one with the one person that matters most.
but if he doesn't care,
then i guess i shouldn't to.
i told him i'm not his toy that he plays with my feelings then leave me on the shelf when he's sick of me.
then he said he's not doing that to me and that he's sorry.
jolly me, then why do you keep lying?
i'm sorry, but i don't think this is going anywhere.
some people just don't change.
boys can be so difficult sometimes...

ah well. i can get through this.
i promised i wouldn't shed any tear for you anymore.
and guess what?
i'll just play the silence game, since that's exactly what you're doing.

kthnxbye.

clarity.

2007-04-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

i like this song.
anyways, hello world.
exams begin tomorrow, it's the starting of a long race i'm determined to finish and finish well.
so many people have no hope in me, especially for amaths.
my tuition teacher is convinced that i should drop the subject cos it seems like i can't handle it, but i'm gonna prove everyone wrong.
i hope.
so i guess i won't be updating a lot cos i'll be busy with all the mugging and stuff.
i've been wanting to put up a password on this bloggie, but i just can't seem to find out how.
it scares me, the people that actually read this.

i need to concentrate.
i must concentrate.
no distractions.
AHHHH.

okay, let's get to work.

sour power!

2007-04-27T02:26:00.000-07:00

do i seriously sound like my mother??
people call and i answer and they go, 'julia?'
and i go, 'nooo, i'm more than 30 years younger than julia, thank you very much.'

school is sucha bore. and the amath test i thought i could pass? yeah, i got seven out of twenty-five. AHHH. I'm so careless, i amaze myself. I was supposed to stay back for extra amath so mr poh can help me but i decided, naaaah, i'm supposed to meet d. so i left school, and he asked me to go to simei. then i'm like noo. cos i'm not supposed to go out on weekdays. then he said he'll come to my house there later so i said okay and i went up to my house. then around 4 plus he said he couldn't come. -_-.(it's like your so near, yet so far.) then i felt so guilty cos i skipped out on amaths for nothing. at the rate i'm going, i'm convinced i'm going to fail.

so to make me feel better, i'm studying now. kinda. i'm typing out my literature notes. ms kang asked us how we've started studying for lit and this little lie about re-doing my notes slipped out my tongue. so now, i'm going to be a good girl.

i wrote a letter to barney for english.(:

the arms of love.

2007-04-25T03:21:00.000-07:00

You were so perfect in her eyes, nothing could ever make her hate you.

Today wasn't good, wasn't bad either.
Okay, some parts were good some parts were bad.
But let's omit the bad stuff and talk about the good cos no one likes reading about emo/depressing/sad/negative things. Even if i write about those stuff, like no one's going to believe that's how i really feel. Oh wells.

Amath today was surprising okay. Damn, you should have seen the amount of food brought into class. I brought my Honey Red bubble tea and a packet of Snyder's honey mustard and onion. Ohmigosh, it's Honey Day! Okay, stop melissa. Yes, back to amath. The 2 hours seemed to pass by quite fast, amazing. The rest of the school periods was pretty mundane, but that's school isn't it. Oh, i told Ms. Kang when she asked me why i come to school that i was forced to. And throughtout the whole lit period, she kept calling me Melissa, the one who's forced to come to school. Haaahh. Hey, i used to like school okay? Back in lower sec. Now that it's upper sec it's all o levels, o levels, o levels. Geeeez, it's like we're taking o levels tomorrow or something.

Mid years are like, next monday and there's so many things i have to do before that. Like study, (DDUUUHHHH!) the only topic i've studied is Chapter 1 for chemistry and as samantha said, that chapter's like not very important. Ahhh weeell, at least now i know the difference between the burette and pipette. I need to go shopping for pens since the one i bought ran out of ink as soon as i completed one literature essay. -_-. It was 2.20! And it ran out in one use. Grrr. I have seriously no hopes that i'd get top five in class this time. I got 4th last year, now i think i'll get 4 plus 20? AHHHH! It's hard being in a class with all the smarty pants. Top humanities class, grrr! I wish i was in 2/7 still, top performing arts. Now isn't that so much better?

Did i mention my birthday's ruined?
Cos we have AMATH, yeess, AMATH test on that day. Oh my 'favourite'. And it's not only amath, it's history too. It's gona be a baaad birthday.

You know what i need now?
DANCE.
My wednesdays and fridays are soo empty without cca.

Oh, and i need to graduate from secondary school asap. I'll just have to get through the rest of this year, and the next. And then i'm done.

June, june hurry hurry cooome! (I NEED MY HOLIDAYS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.)

(:

2007-04-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

you know, it's funny how you can have such a bad day then go home and take a looong shower. And then you end up laughing the whole thing off.
That's exactly what happened to me. (:
Okay, so maybe the day wasn't that bad. I guess it just started off in the wrong note, what with me being in such a foul mood in the morning and taking it out on d. i'm sorry. ):
Then i spent the rest of the school day feeling so awfully bad.
The amath test was surprisingly do-able. I'm not gonna aim so high and say that i can pass, but let's just say i think, THINK, that it's gonna be better then my previous two tests. (a ZERO and a furreeaakiing THREE).
I walked around the school with a post-it stuck to my name tag that said VOTE RANDI.
hahaha, sorry, i'm just insane. But still, i'm supporting my friend!
The head girl 'elections' have started again and there's this whole fiasco with campaigning and all.
Truth be told, i think that it's more of a popularity contest.
The one with the most friends win hands-down.
As for me, my vote's going to Randi. (:

Okay now's where the bad day starts. Our drama performance was screwed. We got scoldings before the performance. Like, omg. How do you expect us to put in a good performance when we'd just been reprimanded???

Plus, we didn't even have time to eat lunch.
Starving a poor skinny girl is definitelt NOT the right thing to do.

*******!

2007-04-23T02:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, i hated school today.
There was nothing fun or nice about it, nothing at all.
Okay, let's just say i hated TODAY.
and the one thing that i was looking forward to was meeting d after school.
And that it was all ruined.

Why?
Cos i got busted.
And then when i go and talk to my friend, he gets all angry.
It's not like he was the one treated like a lamp post.

There was nothing fun about today,
nothing at all.

flashGO!

2007-04-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

okay, sorry bout the stoopid title. hah, i didn't know what to write so i wrote the brand of my thumbdrive. ;D
so basically i spent my weekends studying (okay la, not really) and going to the playground with sharlene.
HAHA.
Nooo, we didn't act like kids or anything, we just sat on the swings sipping bubble tea.
Oh, and camwhoring!
Sorry, i'm a girl.
Can't help it!
There's nothing like spending quality time with your little sister now is there?

I love sharlene,
so if you dare do anything to her,
i swear bitch,
u'll wish you were never born.

better than me.

2007-04-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

hello.
i wrote a poem today.
okay, not really.
i was just writing lines in my student's companion then i put them together and i realised they make a poem.
so you can call it a poem, i guess?

If we pick up where we left of,
If we start afresh,
If we forgive the mistakes,
And forget all the bad,
Would it work out?
Would it be better?
Cos this heart that you tore,
It can take no more,
So tell me baby,
Should i walk out the door?

Hah. I bet Ms. Kang wouldn't say this is a poem. Ah weeellsss.

People keep saying how i should just let go of him. Cos he's a cheater and blah blah blah. Then they criticise me for making the decision that i made. In the words of Diniy, 'Maybe you're not the girl i thought you were.' Maybe i'm not and i'm sorry for hurting your feelings, Diniy. If you don't acknowledge me as a friend anymore then it's fine with me. But thanks for always being there for me, and cheering me up with your crappy jokes that were endless. (I don't think he even comes here, but oh well.)

Back to the critising. Everyone keeps going 'Why, Melissa?' And i don't have an answer. I don't know why either. I got over him, i did i really did. But then he walked into my life again and i dunno..i guess i'm weak. Yes, go ahead and laugh at me. Geez, i don't even know why i'm writing this cos there's not a single soul or people who call themselves my 'friends' who would understand this. You think that by ignoring me you're gonna make things better but geeez, it makes me feel worse. And if that's how you treat your friend, by ignoring her and not supporting her decisions then so be it. You did it once, i'm definitely not surprised you did it again. If you're my true friend, you'd understand. I know you're doing all this because you care for me and i appreciate that. But sometimes, it makes me feel worse.

The only person who's stood by me through every single decision i made is Elizabeth. Thanks, I LOVE YOU! Thanks for telling me that i shouldn't listen to other people cos they're not the one who was in that rocky relationship. And for treating me the same even though i know that you still find me stupid about the decision i made. Maybe i am. I guess i am. But I guess i've always been the 'forgive and forget' type.

This time i'll be more careful.

And D,
sorry that i made you feel that i was believing everyone else. you're right, if you didn't care then you wouldn't have cried. If you didn't love me then you wouldn't have bothered to pick me up that day. And if you didn't care, you wouldn't have cared when i didn't reply any of your messages. I'm sorry. It's just that i know i'm not perfect, but i just feel that I should have been treated better.
Maybe this time, this could actually work out.
But I'm sorry, a part of me still feels that you don't care and i guess i don't really trust you.
Please understand me.
And please don't break a heart that wasn't whole to start with, cos it can take no more.

And to everyone else who thinks i'm 'stupid' and 'gullible' and 'naive'.
Try being me, how would you feel?
You don't have to act like you're all okay with it, believe me, i understand.
And please understand me.

To all those whose feelings got hurt in the process,
I'M SORRY.
Maybe one day i'll make it up to you.
Please don't judge me for this.
Please.

Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
We gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you

ghost rider

2007-04-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

Ghost Rider.
I found the show nice, surprisingly.
Considering the fact that i usually find shows that are sooo unbelievable boring.
But Ghost Rider's nice.
And to add cherry on top of the cake, the young Johnny Blake is hawt too.

deelliicciiiouuss.

okay, i'm gonna start mugging for amath. i got my progress card and i got O.O and 17.4. OMGGG. I need to work hard, and i'm gonna prove ya'll that MELISSA CAN DO AMATHS!

oo yeah.

and we got vulgar.

2007-04-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

HELLO.
today was great.
and super funny.
it all started when elizabeth got bored in class, then stuck a post it to my chair that said:

PG- EXPLICIT CONTENT

MELISSA DISEASE.

so i wrote back on the post it

ME : ELIZABETH SNOT-FACE SYNDROME.
LIZ: MELISSA PITTS ON FIRE INFECTION]
ME : ELIZABETH BUTT CRACK FEVER

then she got vulgar

LIZ : MELISSA ANAL VAGINAL INFECTION
so i decided to
ME : ELIZABETH CORK-IN-YOUR-THING FLU
LIZ : MELISSA PUSSY WAGON INFECTION

hahaha.
i love elizabeth laaa!
(:

idk

2007-04-16T03:59:00.000-07:00

hello again.
today was hellava tiring.
my muscles ache from all that napfa 5 items shit.
grrr!
i bet tomorrow, i'll wake up with aching arms from inclined pull ups.

anyways, mr. ng said i'm distant in my acting. and he also said that's because melissa herself is distant. it's like im experiencing life behind a mask. which is so true, because i'm scared of people to see the real me. i don't know.
aaaaand, after drama nat was talking about how marriages actually protects the woman's rights.
like, marriage is something that binds both the husband and wife together because none can run away from the fact that they are married.
well, if that's the case, then i don't really see the point in marriage.
it's like, som registered thing that's the only thing that holds a couple together.
isn't love supposed to be about...i don't know, LOVE?

but then again, i don't really see the point in anything.
ugh.

2007-04-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

helloooo.
today, i went to popular and i spent 52.50 on guide books and assessment books.
IMMA NERD, oh yes i am.
haaah.

THE ANGELS!
bottom row, sec 2s: siti, marissa, tricia, shakira, esther, rivy, ritika, darshana, jagpreet
top row, sec 3s: vanisha, ankita, ekta, sukanya, narmatha, jessima, ME!, krystal, lubainah.

trees, purple.
angels, yellow.
(:

2007-04-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

2.4 was okay.
it was over earlier than expected.
apparently, many people said that me and liz ran like mad woman.
cos we've always been last during practices, and we did well today.
(:
yay us.

"Summer Wind Was Always Our Song"

These break-up songs make sense again
And i really wish they didn't.
Sinatra's singing summer wind
And i'm thinking of the night we met.

Just one last time
Can i hear you say?
"You're my little boy
I never want you to go away"

Where are you?
Please believe in me.
I'm not hanging up the phone
'til i hear you say,

"I love you.
I need you near."
Just give me one last chance
And i'll never let you down again.

Oh and what i wouldn't give
Just to kiss your lips again
To hold your hand next to my heart
And wake up with you in our apartment.

Just one last time
Can i call you my sweetheart?
My best friend
Why do all good things come to an end.

to you
i'm sorry for going all ballistic and tearing up the diary in front of you.
and i'm sorry i didn't do anything but watch you cry.
and cry myself.

2007-04-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

hello
i feel like shit now.

late nights.

2007-04-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

hello sunshines.
i duno what's up with blogger, i keep clicking the italic sign and some code comes up and i don't know how to use it. haaah.
might be changing to xanga or livejournal soon.
or maybe diaryland.
haha, idk.

anyways,
today was a funny day. i came to school and dumped my stuff on my desk, then turned to samantha and went 'I LOST MY IT REP BADGE!' Haha. Then she gave me this cheeky smile then she showed me the back of her tie and ta-day, MY BADGE WAS THERE. She took it yesterday and i didn't even realise. Gooosssh, how blur can i be? Mr. Quek was in a bad mood today i think. I was drifting off to sleep then he stared at me and folded his hands. Sorrrryy laaa. Can't help it if physics is so boorrinng.
OH, and Mr. Lee was making some weird face at me after pe and i gave him the okaaaaay look and he laughed. Then liz went 'Men of all ages also flirt with you.' HAHAHAHA. Ew.
Recess was the funniest! Me and liz decided to flip a coin to see if we should tell nat something or not so i took out my one dollar coin.

LIZ : Why you take one dollar? Wait lost then how?
ME : Ahhh, nevermind la. I lazy to take out my other coins.
LIZ : Okay, you flip.
ME : I dunno how to flip!

Then melissa tay stretches out her hand to flip the coin for us. And she flipped it and my precious one dollar coin fell into her cup of Milo. Oh greaaaat. We all burst out laughing.

LIZ : See, i told you!
ME : MY ONE DOLLAR! That was one dollar, you know.
M.T : I pour it out for you later.

Then she did pour it out and got the coin back. But then she went to buy another cup of milo and gave me 40 cents back. -_-
I wasn't the one who flipped the dang coin! HAHA.
After school we ate at bedok macs with natalie, tricia and sarah fun. It was uber funny.
BANANAS! ahh, inside joke. (:
imma food stealer. i couldn't be bothered to buy my own lunch, so i stole fries from everyone instead. (:
HEEEEH, cheapskate woman.

So that's my day!

Ooo, i like this song:

You were my everything- Aviation

(talking)
This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one else could know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding his hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

[Talking:]
I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another guy
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

[Talking:]
And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy

(:

beautiful liar.

2007-04-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

and now you come running back to me.

helloooo. rady wants me to update, so i shall.
haha.
i've either been pretty lazy to update or i had some other better thing to do, like finding 'raffles' aka lizzie's admirer on friendster.
so far, my search hasn't revealed anything.
ahhh weellls.

today was an okay day, i guess. the usual stuff, like lessons. i was stealing samatha's skittles during physics and popping them into my mouth throughout physics. then she realised i'd been stealing. then she let me eat them. hahahaha! oooh, the new Head Prefect is in my class. Good god. Do you know how much i hate prefects? They totally ruin my social life. Even when i pop one measly little sweet into my mouth in class, i get a whole swarm of prefects going 'NO EATING IN CLASS! KEEP IT!' Grrrrr. And, i keep my phone off in class. Cos if it so happens to vibrate or ring, i can say byebye to phone and head to RTC. Uggghhh. Not all prefects are like that though, it's just those DIE-DIE-MUST-SUCK-UP-TO-DISIPLINE-MISTRESS type.

anyway, back to my day. i was falling asleep during amath. and i woke up when mr poh was trying the male and female signs, you know the ones with arrows kinda thing. yeah, then he added both signs together and asked us what we thought it was and they whole class went 'SSSSIIICCCCCKKK!' hahaha. RE was oh so interesting. It was about attitudes and duno what. I kinda like RE, cos it actually sets me thinking. Haha. And it's the only subject that isn't for o levels.

i realise teachers like to say my full name. For example, yesterday ms kang was asking us if we started revising for MYEs and she went 'What about you, Melissa Yasmin Stewart?' It scares me. And today, Mdm Chan went 'Roll down your skirt, Melissa Yasmin Stewart.' And then she talked to me, nat and alex about being 'cool' and 'uncool'. And why it's cool to be 'uncool'. Don't ask.

Which reminds me, there's this big sign on our class board that says 18 DAYS TO MYEs. OMG. I need to study. I shall not go to tampines mall with liz and they all tomorrow. I shall stay home and study. Or maybe i'll still end up there anyway. Haaah. (:

I lost my shiny shiny IT Rep badge. That is so sad. I'd been so proud of it, cos basically it's been the only badge i ever had throughout my school life. I'm pathetic.

Okay that's all.
BYEEEE.

monday blues.

2007-04-09T03:32:00.000-07:00

mondaaay blues.
okay not really,
more like monday snooze.

today was an okay day, i guess. last day for morning runs! yay! so no more running after assembly for me. (:
during pe, we ran outside school towards the canal pathway.
liz and i were tired and we were nearly at the back of the class. haha.
and we sat at the bus stop for a rest!
2.4 run is like this coming saturday and i'm not ready for it,
mentally AND physically.
we have to report at 7.30 am at bedok reservoir on a SATURDAY!
the good thing is we're allowed to bring our ipods along when we run.

we had 3 free periods today cos miss tan didn't come. the class was hellava noisy,
most of the noise coming from me, mel tay, lizzie, teri and alex.
we were behaving like drunkards and they were singing amazing grace loudly and horribly.
ohhh and we have a new gang!
it's called the armpit armpit gang.
and we gave ourselves names and mine is fuckbyatch.
rriigghhht.

tomorrow's tuesday.
i hate tuesdays.
they're like mondays.
school ends later and to add on top of that, i have drama o's class till like seven!
tomorrow's our performance, i think.
ah wells.

wish me good luck while i try to survive secondary school life.

(:

2007-04-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

my ex-boyfriend's a looohoosseerr.
seriously.

give it to me.

2007-04-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

HAAAAAPPPYYY EAAASSSTTEEERRR!!

heh, it's 'EGGCITING' as lizzie put it.
i got up earlier than usual today, and i slept later than usual too.
i think it was the teh tarik i had with mummy and sharlene.
it got me so hyper, i couldn't sleep.

ooo, do you know how much i love talking to lizzie on the phone? we talked last night until the line went dead. like literally, cos her phone batt died. haha. we were talking from boys, to graduating, to technology.
i said something like 'I think by the time i'm old enough to get married and have kids, we'll be able to take the MRT to the moon.'
hah, and lizzie went 'Ya, then your children will ask you where they're going for dinner and you'll say The Moon!' Like it's perfectly normal.
haaaah.

I couldn't sleep last night, so i sat up in bed and listenend to my ipod.
then the batt died so i was forced to sleep.
grrr!
going to grandma's place for easter later tonight.
which reminds me, it's the second easter without grandpa.
easter doesn't seem the same without him though.
i miss getting those kinder surprises from him as easter eggs.
ahhh, i miss him, A LOT.

oh, i like easter bunnies. hahaha. okay, that was so random.

DIG THIS!
It's sharlene's second birthday, which makes me four in this pic.
i'm the one with the doll by the way!
haaaah.

my birthday's exactly a month away now! i'm suddenly wishing for hamster. a hamster will make a good birthday present. *hint**hint*. (:
i have decided i shall not have a party this year.
save the money for next year's sweet sixteen!
and grow old with a BAAANG!

(:

lalala

2007-04-07T03:02:00.000-07:00

HELLO EARTHLINGS.
today was a good day!
i spent the morning in the hairdresser rebonding my hair.
i sat down on the same chair for 3 hours.
but i was well-entertained. (:
its fun to listen to snippets of other customer's conversation.
there's this woman who said 'singapore' as 'sing-ah-pork!'
i had to try and try to keep from laughing.
the hairdresser was admiring her own work.
she kept looking at my hair and going 'nice, nice!'
then she touch, touch, smile, smile, nice, nice!
hahaha. funny lady.
so i finally got my hair done!
about time!
after that i had tuition.
i was the only who showed up. pffft!
but it was better to concentrate.
susan told me her jc days story which i found preeetty hilarious.
and she said my amath is improving!
woot woot!
so tonight might be going for dinner with mummy and sharlene at alfiah.
yummmyyyy.
oooh and i saw jordan the little boy today at the playground.
he's so cute and he's still wearing the big watch thingy.
i didnt dare say hi to him cos i was afraid his mum was there and she'll think im some kinda kidnapper!
but its good to see him after a long time!

okey that's all earthlings.
byeee.

GOOOD FRIDAY

2007-04-06T02:25:00.000-07:00

the good thing about a public holiday is;
NO SCHOOL.
the bad thing;
I'M FREAKING BORED.

There's nothing to do but rot in front of this com. I tried flipping the channels on the teevee but there's nothing good that's on. There's this holiday movie on five but it's what i call the 'shoot-shoot-bang-bang-you die-i die' kinda show. My dad's favourites, not mine. Violence shows is a no-no for me. It's dang boring. I even read half of my book in an hour. Geeez.
On top of that, the weather is really warm. Grrrr!
Mummy came home with a plastic bag filled with cotton candy and durian pancakes! She knows how to make her three daughters feel better.
I love you Mummy!
I'm addicted to the song History by Funeral For A Friend. I wanna download it but I can't find the file. Oh wellies, i'll get people to send it to me online.
Many many people are switching to livejournal or xanga and i'm starting to think if i should too.
Blogger's lagging a lot.
But i've had this blog since last year and it's kinda 'heart pain' to delete it and move to another site.
Ah wells.
Might be going to Bedok Stadium to train running with mum dad and tash.
I'll only go cos i'm bored, not that i care about running anymore.
I don't care if i fail napfa.
Goodbye my glorious fast-running days!

Alrighty. I'm gonna eat candy now.
Ciaaoo.

GOLD WITH FREAKING HONOURS!

2007-04-05T01:12:00.000-07:00

yees!
sac's indian dance has achieved the gold with honours award for syf!
and i'm over the moon.
we were all damn scared this morning when we heard we'll only get the results in the afternoon.
and then when me and liz were walking down the stairs to go for recess...

ME : I think we'll get silver...
LIZ : Ya, if we get gold with honours angie will get us chalet..
ME : But quite impossible what.
LIZ : Ya, that's why.
MS KANG : GOLD WITH HONOURS!
ME&LIZ: HUH?
MS KANG : Indian dance got gold with honours!

Then me and liz start screaming and bouncing down the stairs like bloody lunatics. I was screaming and jumping so much that my rubber band fell off my hair! Hahaha. Stacey was crying out of joy. I swear, it's like one of the most happiest days of my life! Nothing is impossible, nothing.
I think we deserved it after all the hard work and putting up with all those discriminations, scoldings, tears.
It all went to good use.
Kudos to Indian Dance!
I'm so happy, so so very happy.
Rady! I don't owe you ice cream anymore! Hehe!

I feel like watching Gilmore Girls. But i can't find a channel that still airs it. Raaah!
and im hungry!

grrr!

SYYYFF.

2007-04-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

so the day finally came and now its oveeerr.
i think we did okay, except that i screwed up the ribbon part and some people had wardrobe malfunctions and nearly tripping that kinda stuff.
it was preeetty scaaary.
i thought i wouldn't get nervous but once i was on standby, i thought that my heart would just stop at the rate it was beating so fast.
ooo, and there was this backstage guy who was cuuute. (:
krystal dared me to say hi to him but i didn't. haha.
we went all the way to UCC at NUS without shoes. HURHUR.
the furthest i've travelled barefoot!
i think my smile was plastic-looking on stage. hahaha.
it was all over in just a matter of minutes and to think we practiced for this for months.
the results are tomorrow and i'm scared.
i want a gold, or better, gold with honours.
yes, i am very very scared.

i'll upload the piccies some other time. (:

linger.

2007-04-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

If you,
if you could return,
Don't let it burn,
Don't let it fade.
I'm sure I'm not being rude,
But it's just your attitude.
It's tearing me apart,
it's ruining ev'rything.
I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey, so did you.
So, why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep.
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,ah ,ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought that nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you.
But I'm in so deep.
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought that nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong.
And I'm in so deep.
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to,
Do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
You know I'm such a fool for you.

burned by your kiss.

2007-03-30T22:49:00.000-07:00

i guess i should update eh?

last night was uber funnnyyy. hahaha. conferenced with narysarl and elizabeth on the phone. haha. i was calling narysarl womanizer and he was calling me lesbian (I'M STRAIGHT!) and lizzie was just..uh..sniffing cos she was sick. Haha. Oh and narysarl's lame jokes are..lame! We talked from around 9 plus to almost midnight! Haha. Tracy joined us for awhile when she called me to tell me she had problems with dominic. Poor her. There was a snippet of our conversation which i found pretty funny. Haha.

Me : Eh, narysarl you like ****** right??
Narysarl : Wth, noooo. I like lizzie!
Me : Omg. When's your wedding??
Narysarl : Umm.. tomorrow tomorrow!
Lizzie : Huh? Your wedding tomorrow? To who??
Me&Narysarl : YOOUU!

Hahaha. Blur la she. School yesterday was pretty funny too. We had to do some kinda job interview thing during english and Samantha and Elizabeth were interviewing me. So they went "Do you have any working experience?" And i went "Umm..i work...OUT! I work out!" HAWHAW. But they didn't give me the job cos they said i was 'bimbotic' oh and i called the boss a bitch. Hahaha. Hey, it's all in the name of fun! I think i was supposed to be serious about the whole thing but i wasn't. I can't, i just can't! Ooo, i got 14/18 for my physics test, second in class! YAY ME! It's a wonder actually. I sleep during physics and yet i can still do well. I STUDIED OKAY! Randi's theory was "She sleep on the desk right. So one side of her ear covered. So whatever mr. quek say enter through the ear and cannot come out!" Haha. After school me, liz, mel tay, natalie, sarah, tricia, annalisa and natasha cabbed to tampines and had lunch at pasta mania. Yummeh. It was uber funny and tricia took a candid of lizzie that turned out super funny. But liz deleted it so i can't post it up here. Haha.

Today did henna for syf. It's quite nice actually. Angeline did mine and i got narmatha to touch it up for me. Prettyyy. Liz did one on my leg but it didn't come out. Haha. Syf's in 3 days and im getting kinda nervous. I wanna get a least a gold. Plleeaaasseee.
Okay, i'm off for tuition now!

Byeee.

a heart to wrap around.

2007-03-26T04:26:00.000-07:00

HELLO WORLD.

i haven't blog in the last couple of days cos basically i've been busy with syf and whatnot.

plus, i'm lazy.

i don't know why, i go to school, and something happens and i say 'okay, i'm gona put this up on my blog,' then i forget what i wanted to post.

pffft.

ah wells, i'll just start from friday!

FRIDAY

CCA was excruciating! We had to dance over and over again i almost collapsed. (okay, exaggerating) We had short breaks in between to catch our breath and i was hanging by this railing with my juniors when it started to rain. So i went 'EH, let's play in the rain!' And the juniors went 'OKAY! YES! LET'S GOOO!' and they start running. I shouted after them 'KIIDDDIIINGGGG!' But to late, they were already going out. So i ended up running after them! Hahaha. So cute la they all! We played in the rain!! It's been ages since i did that. ;D

So after cca i went home and mum said we were going out for dinner at some buffet restaurant in tampines mall. I was so tired but I had to rush bathing and get dressed in less than half an hour. RECORD BREAKING. Dinner was great and me tash and sharlene were camwhoring, as usual! Hahaha. We were like, "EH, take picture of me eating ice-cream!", "Eh, my turn with the camera!" "Off the flash! Off the flash!", "EEYYEEERR, i look so ugly and so do you!" HAHAHAHA. That's what happens when you have tooo many girls in the family.

PICTURES!

Happy anniversary mum and dad!

SATURDAY

Tuition was a bore. There's this new guy who got a freaaaking A2 for his amaths and i'm sitting there wondering why the fuck he's taking tuition. Geeez, i'm at E8 level! I don't like those kinds of people who still go for tuition even though they're oh-so-smart. It makes me feel so stupid. So after alexsondra, michelle, natasha nadia and lee came over to do our drama. We changed our whole plot and the whole script! We got sidetracked and ended up watching a haunting with my parents! Hahaha, scary show. Michelle and nat lee left early. Nat nadia left around 11 plus and alex stayed until 12 30 am! HAHA. She was waiting for her parents to come fetch her. We lazed around and watched the telly. We were tiireeeddd!

SUNDAY

Visited grandma. I was bored. I fell asleep. Lounging on grandma's couch isn't exactly my idea of spending my sunday.

MELLYWELLYKEBELLY

you stole my heart.

2007-03-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

helloooo.
i've been great lately. (:
syf's in just about 2 weeks time and i'm stressed, yet excited.
oh yeah, st patrick's has indian dance too and we're competing agaisnt them
hard to imagine boys doing indian dance, really.
cca yesterday was exhausting.
we played in the rain!

ME : (it starts to rain) Eh, let's play in the rain!
JUNIORS : YEEEESSS!! LET'S GOOOOOO!
ME : KIIIIDDDIIINNGGG!!

(and they all run off and i chase after them)

Haha. Cute la the juniors. I'm starting to think i click well with younger people then people my age. Maybe it's because of my immaturity. HAHA. Life's been a bliss actually. I've gradually stopped sulking and all. I think i'm ready, i'm ready to move on. (:

melissa.<3

visions

2007-03-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

HELLO YOU.

first day of term was...so-so. it's like those usual schooldays, but only this time i was still in the holiday mood. HEH.

anyways, here's a copy of something i did during PC lesson.

My ambition is to become : A psychologist.
A writer.
A journalist.
An actress.
Housewife?
Social worker
Counselor

My favourite pastime : SHOPPING!
Writing
SHOPPING!

My best subjects in school : English
History...kinda?

How am i going to achieve my goals? : TRY, TRY not to drop out of
school.

HOHO. I realise i'm not really living my life. It feels like i'm just adapting to it. I really don't like changes. If u ask me to think about my life, i'll start thinking of home-school-home-school. Or maybe i don't even have a life? I duno. Ah wells, i got a pile of homework to do so i'm gona hit the books baybeh.

this ain't pretty dear.

2007-03-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dream interpreter says:

Beer: Social relaxation; social acceptance - 'with a glass in my hand I'm one of the lads'; mood change; sedative to drown loneliness or emotional pain.

Yes, i dreamt of beer last night. I duno why, i actually believe in this dream interpreter thingy. Because sometimes they actually are right. Like that time i dreamt of 'ahems' and i asked lizzie to go check it out for me and it said 'a change in your life' and there definitely was a change in my life. Weiirrrdd.

I got sick of being at home yesterday so i went for a walk. I didn't know where I was headed. My legs just kept walking and then they started running. And guess where i ended up? The secret playground. You know, the one where me and dom used to go. Yeaaah. I was crying. HAHA. I stayed up there for awhile then i decided to walk back. There was this big feeling of emptiness in me. My grades are starting to pick up again, i have the greatest friends in the world...i should be happy right? But why do i feel like something's missing? RAAAAH, fuckit. I'll be better one day, i know.

Kevin said: You're in denial about your feelings. I think he's right. I have horrible mood swings. There's times when i feel so happy, and then the next second i just lose it. I like taking long showers now, it helps me think. I feel like going back to the playground. It feels like home. It's super deserted and its basically the only place im alone. But the one thing that's wrong with it is that it brings back too many memories. I keep thinking about that first time when i said 'i love you.' It was the first time i actually said that. RAAAAAAH!

Lizzie, i know you're thinking 'why your blog so emo depressed?' HAHA. One day, i promise, one day it'll be filled with sunshine. (:

I'll try to be strong.
Believe me,I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me.

'Cause I, need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try, and have a little patience.

Cause the scars run so deep,
It's been hard,
But I have to believe.

I saw this poster on the wall of my tuition class.
It said : It doesn't matter how long the road is,
So long as you keep on driving.

Inspirational.

LIZZIEEEE!

2007-03-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

HAWHAW.

spring is for breaking says:
at this moment
spring is for breaking says:
i hate all boys
;eyes are red and tears are shed. says:
me toooo.
spring is for breaking says:
put that in ur blog
;eyes are red and tears are shed. says:
boo to boys!!
;eyes are red and tears are shed. says:
okay okay!
spring is for breaking says:
put this whole thing in ur blog

yaaay!

PITTSBURG!

2007-03-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

so i was looking through the stuff you gave me,
you know, all those little presents that meant so much to me,
and i picked up those earrings,
you know, the ones you gave me for valentines',
and i traced it with my finger,
and that was when i realized,
you remembered,
you remembered the butterflies.

and hello. march holidays can get so effing boring. all my plans were cancelled cos no one wants to go out, or they're too busy. PFFFT! yesterday went over to melissa tay's to do our project. and her cat is huuuuge but so adorable. her room is super nice too. we had like so much mushroom pizza, i was so bloated. and i had so much chocolate, i swear i'll break out in pimples very soon. unglaaaam! we left at around 4 30 and hung around eastpoint. then i took the bus home. i was daydreaming. i was just thinking about stuff. so i missed my stop. omgggg. i was thinking 'okay, melissa don't panic. get off the next stop.' of course, i didn't even know where the next stop was cos i'm so uber blurrrr. so the bus drove pass the next stop before i had the chance to ring the bell. so yeah, i missed TWO stops. and guess where i got off? upper changi road. like wth is that? i msged people asking them if they knew how to get from changi to bedok but no one bothered to reply. i didn't have money for a freaking cab! so i walked home. yes, Melissa Yasmin Stewart walked from upper changi road to bedok north avenue 4. i was zonked out by the time i got home.

today followed tash to tpjc to get her new uniform. then we went out with mum. she got her new specs, grooovy i must say. i bought bubble tea and fudge brownies. i duno why, i've been so hungry lately. fuuuug. but that's okay, i need the fats. i borrowed books from the library. i figured i needed to entertain myself through this boooring hols. oh, and i placed my order for the last harry potter book already. yaaay! but it's only gona come on the 21st of JULY! i don't think i can wait that long. HAHA. geez, i'll always be a bookworm.

ohwellies, gtg now. byeee.

ps: imeezyou.

sick sick sick.

2007-03-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

damn, im sick of this feeling.
i'm hating the fact that i'm missing you.
i need time.
i don't think this wounds will ever heal me.
i'm caught up in my own emotions.

ugh. i hate you, i hate what you did to me.

&i shall never love again.

SULPHATE?

2007-03-13T05:36:00.000-07:00

BOOOO!
today was monotonous.
last day of the term, what can i say?
No one bothered to study, including me.
okay, maybe i did pay attention during amaths cos i got a big fat ZERO for my last test.
i need to concentrate.
mrs. boo gave me the biggest shock of my life as i was strolling back from malay class.

Me: (smiles as i pass mrs. boo)
Mrs.Boo: (points finger at me) SULPHATE!
she was asking me to give her the chemical formula
Me : urmm...gee, Na something something?
Mrs. Boo: AMMONIUM!
Me: I dunno man! (and enters the classroom)

HAHA. she's like the most cheeriest teacher i've ever had in my life.
drama today was booring.
2 of my group members didn't come so me and mich basically couldn't do anything.
I WAS HUNGRY! so we snuck into the canteen and i bought those pola snacks thingyy.
tanning on friday!
i hope hope hope we can go!
not like im gona tan, i'll just bask in the sun and put layers of sun-block lotion while everybody else puts sun-tan lotion.
i'm dark enough already, thankew.
siloso beach could be my excuse to wear my new bikini!

i need to get a polaroid camera, SOON!

HAHA.
k laaa, im gona watch telly with the family.
(:

sleep, sleep, sleep.

2007-03-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

gawd.
i'm so effing tired.
dance, dance, dance.
i feel so sick of the syf song.
and we still have until april to practice.
i seriously hope we got gold with honours,
or at least a gold.
i'm effing sleepy la.
its the f******* holidays and we have to go back to school today and tomorrow for NORMAL LESSONS.
geez, give us a break la can?
its HOLIDAYS. and it's not like we don't have a pile of projects to do.
RAAAH! i got a headache. i need sleep, sleep, sleep.
anyways, i got my bikini today. brown and green.
mum actually let me buy! she did! (:
happy, happy.

okay, i needa sleep. really. i think i might collapse one of these days.
NITENITE EARTHLINGS.

SYF CAMP PART 2

2007-03-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

YAY!
i'm back from camp!
it was fun i guess, better than the last one actually.
sad to say the food didn't improve one bit. DISGUSTING. there was hair in my food, i swear!
at night we snuck food into the hall. i shoved mine and lizzie's in my sleeping bag. HURHUR. we were eating and we didn't get caught. (:
the preview was great i guess. Everyone was crying before it due to mrs. vijay's lecture about us not doing our best and slacking and blah blah blah.
Our comments after the preview weren't bad so i guess it was okay.
Did i mention we had to wear wigs? Yes, they were big buns with pearls in them. HAHA.

i like gossiping with REKHA! yay! haha.
okey, gotta go now. byeee.

let the record play.

2007-03-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

Together forever,
Never apart,
Maybe in distance,
Never in heart.

-I guess not eh?
HAHA.

Today was howdyasay, SPLENDID. The day started off fun, and ended in a good note too. Lessons were the usual i guess, mundane and boring. OOH OOOH, i got 11 1/2 out of 15 for my physics test. Then I realised Mr. Quek marked wrongly so i went to tell him and i got 10 1/2. How honest, thank you thank you. 10 1/2's quite good for someone who sleeps during every physics lesson. Samantha went 'WOW! You studied! Yes, indeedy. I guess my grades are starting to pick up again and I'm starting to do better. YAY! I am motivated to study. Haha. We had English orals after school. It was okay, I guess. I kinda stammered on the word 'amputated' cos i think i was talking a leeetle too fast. Haha, as usual.

So tomorrow's SYF CAMP! I actually can't wait. I duno why. I guess i liiiike dancing. My thighs are gona hurt like hell again but the pain is worth it baaaaaabe. As they say, NO PAIN NO GAIN.

I'm gona decorate my personal diary now so ciaaaooo!

this doesn't hurt.

2007-03-04T04:18:00.000-08:00

I feel so much better now. I guess i'm on the road to recovery! Haha, okay that was kinda exaggerated. Yeap. So anyways, i've been thinking a lot and i realise that there's no point in sulking over something you've lost and can't get back. Crying over spilt milk, they call it. First love, first mistake. Okay, maybe not mistake. I've learnt a lot. I'll hold every memory in my heart cos they no longer make me cry anymore, they make me smile. I guess i really shouldn't have let the whole relationship go that far. I mean geeez, seven months! Yeah, so you can say i'm slowly getting over it. YAAY ME!

Life is preeeetty routine i guess. There's no spark in it anymore, but i'll live. I'm strong okay! I duno why, i've been craving for night to come every day. I just need to crawl up in bed and sleeep. The weather, ahhh so nice. My appetite's back too, i ate lunch today. FINALLY! Dinner's all laid out on the table. Satay, fish and chips, carrot cake, APPETIZING! So i guess i'd better go and eat now.

;D

screaming for something.

2007-03-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

This is a thank you for everyone who has been there for me through this time.
The one thing i've learned for all this shit is that i have the bestest friends in the world.
Even people who hardly know me, who don't even know what's going on, they actually care.
Just that comforting smile from an acquaintance makes me feel so much better.
I guess i've judged people a bit too much.
Deep down, they're all really nice, and they all care about my feelings.

Thanks, everyone.
ILY! (:

VENT, VENT, VENT.

2007-02-28T03:15:00.000-08:00

there's gona be a lot of venting so beware.

its over. yes, after 7 freaking months, its over. this hurts a lot. i made you my everything, so now i've lost everything. what have i done? where did i go wrong? its not fair, its not fair, its not fair. i hate this feeling. i hate it i hate it i hate it.

are you happy now? happy you've broken me? happy you destroyed me? have you've given me scars?

you got what you wanted.
happy now??

my sorrow.

2007-02-23T03:34:00.000-08:00

world, please leave me alone.
stop telling me stuff i don't wana hear.
this is fucking shit.

it's not fair when you say that i always think ur in the wrong and i don't trust you after everything you've put me through.

okay, i just had to say that.

currently, im at the lowest point in life.

fuckit.

imissyou.

2007-02-19T02:26:00.000-08:00

damn, im bored.
and i miss dominic, alot.
its been 2 days since i last saw him.
HAHA.
i wanna walk through 'richville' (jalan pari burong) again.
and choose the house we're gona buy when we're married.
and climb up that 'bird cage' thingy.
and just sit and talk and let the world go by.
and walk with your hand in mine.

i just miss his touch.

ahhh. im supposed to call narysarl tonight.
argh.

my deadly lullaby.

2007-02-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

BAH. Life can get so boring sometimes. So it's Chinese New Year, which means school is out on monday (today) and tuesday. The one good thing about it is i don't have to wake up at an ungodly hour and stress over my whacky hair, and then panic over stomach pains, and then panic on whether im late for school or not, then end up walking super fast to school, and then realising that the dang wind messed up my hair that i took so long to pin up. Okay, i think you get the point.

But, there's nothing to do. Seriously. Teachers were so nice to not give us homework but now i'm seriously wishing they did. I have nothing to do, no where to go. Yes, everybody, Melissa is lifeless. Oh how i wish i was out visiting family and getting ang pows. Too bad i'm not chinese. Help?

2007-02-17T19:46:00.001-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
okay, that's all.

;D

SYF CAMP

2007-02-13T03:15:00.000-08:00

and hello!
i know its kinda late to blog about this but i've been preeety busy with school and whatnot.
so let's just get down to buzinezz.

Okay, the first day was friday. It was pretty fun, being around dancers and laughing amidst all the hard work. Warm ups was excruciating, that my legs still hurt. I swear, I can feel my leg muscles now, i'm serious. I feel so manly. Euugghh. But the hard work paid off i must say. Considering the fact that our SYF piece looks sooo much better then it did last week. Dinner was disgusting. I get better food at home. Oh, and my school skirt went missing. Pfffffttt! Now i have to live on one measly skirt till i finally get over my laziness to go to Bibi and Baba to buy a new one. Which will be like, very long. So that's basically it for the first day. The second day was even better.

Stacey bought us push pops (YUMMEH!). The day was actually kinda slaaaack cos we were all tired. Lizzie left early for wedding. NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! We had a preview that night and we had to wear this BIG BIG tags with our names on our sleeves so judges can point out the bad dancers and kick us out of SYF. Apparently, we weren't that bad cos the judges gave us good comments. ;D.

It was nice to bond with the rest of the dancers while working hard. I got to know some of them better, and i've realised that i've been too judgemental with them. They are actually nice people.

So KUDOS to indian dance! May we get gold with honours this year. ;D

careless.

2007-02-08T01:06:00.000-08:00

"Every time your love calls, you get as excited as if you'd won the lottery. You zone out and don't even hear what your friends-or teachers, or parents-are saying to you because you're daydreaming of him. When you write your name and his in a little heart, it means so much more than it did when you were a little girl-because this time, it's not some unrequited infatuation. This time, he loves you back. Real love is all about the little things, like how he tells you you're even more beautiful without makeup, and how you're not grossed out when he comes over after hockey practice, because you can't wait to see him. You'll know when you've fallen truly, madly, deeply because your happiness just comes naturally, and you stive to be a better person-not just for yourself, but for him too."

-CosmoGirl Magazine.

It's so true.

and and HELLO.

2007-02-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

YAY.
okay, im bored.
in chemistry lesson now and yeaaah, i'm wonder woman so i finished my work in record time.
GET THIS: 3 MINUTES.
;D
i swear, i don't give a shit about elements or molecules or whatever.
seriously, it's so boring.
who cares about helium or selenium or whatever-ium?

anywayyss, it's the 7th today so..

HAPPY SEVENTH MONTH DOMINIC!!
;D
ILOVEYOU.

seventh month and still counting.
:D

blissful.

2007-02-02T19:39:00.000-08:00

What started out as a great day turned out to be one of the worse. It's funny how you can be so over the moon, so happy and so in love and then suddenly everything just comes crashing and you're stuck, you don't know what to do. It's amazing how just one boy can break your heart a thousand times.

Because about 7 months ago, I fell in love.
Now i'm confusing my emotions with the truth.

Ah well. I'll just have to live with it. I suddenly miss Switzerland like, a lot. Yeah, i know it was only what, a ten day holiday but at that point of time, i had nothing to worry about. The snow, the mountains...everything, it was so beautiful. There's just something about waking up and seeing beauty all around you. I want to go back there. Soon. Because that holiday, it was the happiest time of my life. Dang, I sound stupid.

Valentines' is coming. Screw it. Seriously, it's all about business and that kinda shit. Maybe, just maybe, it could be the best Valentines' ever.

But then again, i'm always wrong.

Melissa.

X

2007-02-02T04:46:00.001-08:00

i just don't know why, i keep continuing it,
even when it hurts me so much.

it's all too sweet to last.

the fray

2007-01-29T03:54:00.000-08:00

Trust me- The Fray

Looking for something I've never seen
Alone and I'm in between
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand

If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
Take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand

And then again maybe you don't
And then again maybe you won't
When you're older you might understand
When you're older you might understand

Just when i thought everything was going to be okay...
No, it never will be.

heelooo

2007-01-24T20:36:00.000-08:00

AAAAND SHE'S BACK!
camp corri. it was okay i guess.
we had activities like apsailing, rock climbing, high elements, dragon boating, trapeze, night walk at changi coast and trekking at pulau ubin.
the experience was greeaaaat.
sleeping on the hall floor wasn't though.
now my whole body aches from the activities.
i guess 3.7 bonded quite well.
made new friends and got closer to old ones. ;D

after dismissal yesterday at around 3, walked over to the playground to meet dominic.
joachim and this little boy jordan joined us.
jordan's my new friend. ;D
he passed me twigs through the holes on the playground.
how cute.

ahh well, that's all i guess. im super tired from camp and body's aching like maaaad.
plus, i've got loads of online homework to complete.
so much for a 'rest day'.

ciao. ;D

boredom.

2007-01-21T00:09:00.000-08:00

this is what happens when you're bored.

Louiis is mine!!! says:
hey talk sumthin also leh....
Louiis is mine!!! says:
im so bored
Kick your shoes off baby and close the door. says:
lol. okay. louiis, how are you?

;D

go ahead get gone.

2007-01-17T22:44:00.000-08:00

Irreplaceable-Beyonce

Hello world. (: Yes i know i haven't been blogging in quite some time so i'm back now. School's been really stressful. I'm starting to really consider dropping a math. I mean, come on. I can't even handle e math, what makes you think i can actually pass a math? Not to mention I feel like mr poh's not talking english in class. I'm totally lost. Ommmggg. If this keeps on then I'll probably do really badly in class. I fell asleep during physics despite promising myself i won't. I duno why, my eyes just kept wanting to be shut. It was like first period some more. Arrgghh. I can see my grades dropping already. I gotta stop slacking. Blady hell.

CAMP CORRI'S next week. If we were actually going to Pahang, i'd be like so excited now. But it's a school camp. So yeah, i don't feel like going darn it. I'd rather stay at home and watch tv, thank you. Valentine's coming too. I gotta go buy all those presents for friends. Yaay! I like going to school on Valentine's. Its like, presents everywhere, roses, chocolates, bla bla bla. It's not all about love you know, its about friendship.

Well, i'm gona grab some chocolates and pig out in front of the television now. Tata love.

NOO

2007-01-13T19:04:00.001-08:00

okay, you know what?
IGNORE THE OLD POSTS.

I'M A NEW ME BABE!
(:

NOO

2007-01-13T19:04:00.000-08:00

you have a home in my heart.

2007-01-10T03:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, i was reading my blog and i figured this place looks kinda bare. So let's post shall we?? School's like so boring i can hardly stand it. Seriously, I wish i could return back to sec 2. where studies were okay, school was fun, and i had no problems whatsoever. And now suddenly its like sooo many things crashing on me, i can't take it. I admit i'm not a strong person and i never will be. And i keep everything to myself. I'd rather suffer alone, thank you.

I just don't understand. Throughout that whole 5 months, i thought everything was real. I thought you were the one. To find out now that it's all a lie, it fucking hurts. I wish i could be everything you wanted me to be, all the time. And it's been almost a week and i'm still not over you. And now you tell me you love ME. But what about that other girl? I'm sorry but its all too confusing for me to handle right now.

It hurts that deep down, i actually want you back.

hi world. (:

2007-01-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

Shadows fall and the darkness of night decends
Concrete walls bring the road to an end
I don't know which way
Leads me back to you
Every step that I take
Brings your light into view
<3

break you.

2007-01-06T18:41:00.000-08:00

I HATE HOSPITALS.

i miss you.

2007-01-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right
Goodbye

[Chorus:]
I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go

You're the one mistake
I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
See now I know your kind
You fake it easy just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried over and over again
Sleepless nights, wrong or right
Goodbye

I gotta let you go
It's you
There's nothing I can do

I'll never forget you, Dominic.

DAMMIT.

2007-01-04T01:04:00.000-08:00

I felt so damn hyper yesterday in the morning, the first day of school. I had my new specs on, new nike shoes, new school bag and i thought "I'm gona take SAC by storm!"

But nooo, SAC got the better of me. I swear, i look like a dork carrying all my HEAVY HEAVY books.

Dammit, i hate school. And to think i had been excited to go back. Aww man, i got it all wrong.

the thought of not being there.

2007-01-01T18:23:00.000-08:00

I hate this feeling, its called love.
It traps you and then it destroys you bit by bit.
Then when you find you want to get out of it,
YOU'RE STUCK.
Love is stupid, love is naive, love is painful.
It's a heavy burden you have to carry.

i hate this feeling. i hate it when people say follow your heart, when i don't even know what my heart wants.
They say i deserve so much better.

I hate that they are right.

hello loves.

2006-12-29T20:47:00.000-08:00

helleewww. i dunno why, but i'm into saying 'hellewww'.

28th December 2006

Got up at around 8 plus. Me, mummy, daddy and Tasha went to johor for the day. We did a lot a lot of shopping at City Square mall, Angsana and Kota Raya. I got my new school shoes from Angsana. They have these really cool shops that are meant for teenagers. They have all kinds of cool stuff. My new shoes are Nike baby! It's quite affordable, probably cheaper that Singapore. Tasha and I went to Silver Planet to find shoes for her. This guy at the shop was like following us around and i admit i was kinda freaked out. hahaha. We got her shoes, Adidas and then we went to have lunch outside. It was pouuurriiinng. I spilled my bandung all over the table and onto my plastic bag so i had to move to the other side of the table. I got kinda wet. Haha. Me and tash had sambal chicken rice. It was awweesssooommeee. After that we went to buy pastries and Dunkin' Donuts before cabbing to Kota Raya for some grocery shopping. I swear, tasha was like whacking me every second at the supermarket. I think she got bored cos we just stood there waiting for mummy and daddy to grab the groceries. The groceries came up to 82.50 r.m. hahaha. which is like, 40 plus singapore dollars, all spent on groceries. We bought loads and loads of chocolates. Then we headed up to the music shop to buy my new guitar!! Uncle Roger's old one is really old and we figured it wouldn't last very long so daddy went 'let's get her a new one.' Mummy helped me pick the guitar. She wanted me to buy the same brand as Sharlene's, which is Skylark. It's brownish, orangish and i duno what ish. Hahaha. The lady helped me to tune it and polish it.

Then we headed hoommeeee.

29th December 2006

Went to town with Elizabeth, Natasha, Michelle, Diniy, Ryan and their friend. Watched Night at the Museum. That show is hilarious i tell u. The theater was dammnnn cold. Liz and i were practically shivering since we totally lack in the fats department. I could hear Diniy singing. Hahaha. After the movie we walked around Far East for a little bit. Oh and liz saw her long lost friend Valerie and they were bouncing and bouncing down the street. it was damn funny i tell u. Plus, the song 'freak out!' was playing. How ironic. Got my butterfly belt from some belt shop at Level One. I wanted to get a shirt but it was too expensive. Got a polka dot hairband from Chamelon. I'm working on my hair band collection. Hahaha. Oh yeah, did i tell u i'm in love with topshop? Haha. So we left at around 5 plus and trained back. This guy in the train was like smiling at us cos we were bumping on him by ACCIDENT. He's damn pervetic i swear. Nat and i got down at bedok and left liz in the train with the boys. hahaha. she msged me saying 'its damn awkward' but i didnt reply. I'm evil i know. teehee.

oh yeah did i tell u liz and i got name card from some creative talents company wanting us to MODEL?? hahaha. i highly doubt its true. its too good to be true.

so yeah, that's my day. came home and talked to dom online for like 5 mins.

well thats all.

BYEBYE!

foolish

2006-12-28T03:25:00.000-08:00

See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why ya treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is eating for ya
I can't stop crying

I don't know how I allow you to treat me this way and still i stay
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while im with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you

Baby I don't know why ya wanna do me wrong
See when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you are always gone
And boy, you know I really love you
I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears after all these years

Oohhhhh I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad what love will make you do all the things that we accept be the things that we regret too all of my ladies (ladies) feel me c'mon sing wit me
See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same that
You ain't never gonna change (never gonna change, never gonna change)

Boy I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
This something always hold me back

internet dowwwn.

2006-12-27T05:09:00.000-08:00

jeez.
heard that the internet connection's down in many parts of asia cos of an earthquake in taiwan. currently, i can only get into hotmail and blogger sites. the rest are down. dammit. no friendster for a few days i guess.

DAAAAMN.

dooommiiiiniiiiiccc

2006-12-25T18:38:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Okay, i know i know, i'm like a day late. But still, the christmas mood is still in the air right? Aha. Okay basically i've been very very lazy to blog. I didn't have anything to write. Haha. Besides, i don't even know who actually comes here, besides my biggest fan Elizabeth. She tags my board like everyday. Haha. Thanks love. People like you keep this thing going. Haha.
Okay so my christmas was just the same as last year. Went to granny's at around 4 plus. I got to wear my new dress (:. I'll try and upload the pictures soon, once my stupid camera decides to stop being so retard and start uploading. Had those usual family chit chat. Then some people left so we decided to order some dinner. We had chicken, onion rings, french fries...blah blah blah. If i keep eating like this everyday i'll hit 40kg in no time. Can you believe i'm 14 years old and i haven't even hit 40 kg? Yeaaahh. Bugger. Then we sat at the living room and chit chat a little bit. The conversations were hilarious i tell you. Nanny told us stories about Dad, Aunty Moira, Uncle Roger when they were younger. Some people said "Funny how she can remember these sort of things and when you ask her what she did yesterday, she say she can't remember." HAHA. I bet i'll be like that when i'm all old and wrinkly too. I'll probably forgot what i ate for breakfast. Let's just say my memory is kinda bad. Even now i can't remember where i left my handphone even though i put it down somewhere like 5 minutes ago. It's gona be worse when i'm old. HAHA.
So apparently, my daddy was a really naughty boy. No surprises there. Maybe now i know where dearest Sharlene got her genes from. I'm telling you, that girl is hell mischievious. But i still love her. (: So then we left at around 10 and cabbed home.

So that's my christmas. I stayed up till around 2 messaging Dominic cos he was gona leave for australia (geez, he's prolly in the plane right now). Dammit, I miss him already and it hasn't even been 24 hours. He was getting up at around 5 in the morning so i got up at 6 plus and we messaged again. He was supposed to call but then he had to go. I'm not gonna delete all the messages. It prolly can help me get through this looooonnngggg 2 weeks and 4 days. I miss that boy, i love that boy.

18 more days to go till he comes back.

Okay, byebye loves.